my hair was longer then

crushed

2009-09-30T10:06:00.002-05:00

NOTE TO SELF:

whoa. slow down. he's 23. he's a punk. he is so many shades of wrong for you. this is going to end very, very badly.

does that matter?

not at all. i'm going to keep bringing him juice boxes and fruit snacks until i get in his pants.

at least i have a plan.

welcome to my new life

2009-09-06T18:52:00.009-05:00

i lost my best friend because of a boy. the boy really was a total shithead that weekend. really. totally. no doubt about it. the kid was ass-craptastic. those are the nicest things i can say right now about someone i really liked. (i really, really liked him beforehand... ok, ok, i still like him alot.) bottom line: boys are bullshit and i miss sunny.

in other news:

i walked out on my career. in the middle of a meeting. picked up my shoes and went home. 8 to 9 years of corporate bullshit... then your boss tells you, "you're being punished because of your competence". right. i'm out. have a lovely afternoon, suckers!

that was that.

since then, retirement suits me. i have six classes this semester. i spent a week on my lake. i'm learning to golf. i bought a new rake for when october rolls around. i got to play "Bolingbroke" (he turns out to be Henry IV and he is EVIL) in "Richard II,", i am loving my last few weeks in the Chi. my own Little Kim is coming to spend my last weekend with me. if anyone "curbs" you'll know... i've never been more excited to have Kimmy in my city. but i am spending more time in Indy... i have PUC written all over me. i love school. i am a dork. which is working out well... aside from snacking out of my harry potter lunchbox, i've pretty much got my guys lined up to buy me breakfast and dinner. all of school and life revolves around naps. i'm finding that i *love* shakespeare. i am a starting forward on my bball team. i bought (and can use) an iPod. on 9/18, Mike and I are going apple picking. i'm making 6 pies. sunny, my crust won't rival yours.... but if you want a pie, i will be on my way to madison.

(I could retitle this "Sorry. Love You. Halfway There.")

bed of awesomeness

2009-07-02T20:46:00.003-05:00

doug has moved back in for the month. we got him a cozy inflate-a-bed and some new sheets for his stay. deciding on the sheets was tough. he refused the hannah montana sheets.

this is what we settled on:

cuter than a box of puppies!

2009-06-10T23:08:00.008-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Dee: Is that blood splatter on your window?

Me: No, it's fire sauce.

Dee: You went to The Bell without me? YOU, CHALUPA-EATING-CHEATER!

TV only makes it hurt worse

2009-05-24T17:42:00.005-05:00

On those days, when you feel wholly craptastic and basically want to die, what makes you feel better?

Me? I tend to curl in a ball and cry for my mom. Yessssss, I'm thirty-one and still need my mommy. Shut up. I'm a momma's girl.

And a daddy's girl.

And a gramma's girl.

Whatevs. I dig my fam. So what?

Anyway, back to the "feeling better" question. I have the answer:

Have your best friend fly in from the east coast, let him make fun of you for crying for your mommy, force him to make tons of pudding (any flavor, as long as it has bananas), play tons of games, remain seated, rememeber your best friend is your bitch, make him do dishes and take out the trash, eat more pudding, get a lot of hugs and turn off the TV.

I am so lucky to be in pain this way. And I have pudding,

new love of my life - or - i am officially geeked out

2009-05-14T11:47:00.013-05:00

***UPDATE # 2: Saw it a third time with a disbeliever. She wants to have ten thousand of Spock's babies. She's weird.***
___________________________________________________________________

***UPDATE: Saw it a second time & I've changed my mind. I want to have 20,0000 of Chris Pine's babies.****
___________________________________________________________________

Saw the new Star Trek movie last night at the IMAX, and have to say it is hands down the best movie ever. And Chris Pine is dreamy. And I want to have ten thousand of his babies.

no flowers today

2009-05-07T20:29:00.006-05:00

so the weather finally broke. by broke, i mean, it went from snow to heat exhaustion overnight, which was followed by rain this afternoon. finally, at 65 degrees and rain-free, i was able to go out and meander through my 'hood and snap some shots of the best thing about may... things budding. things growing. the world becoming green again.

i'm not posting any of those pictures today.

i set out to find the beauty of spring. i wandered a good twenty blocks. i heard the sounds of the neighborhood. kids and parks. hipster guitars coming from windows. lots and lots of traffic. laughter at every corner. the ice cream truck. sirens, sirens, sirens.

sirens are very common in my neighborbood. i live vey near the intersection of two very busy thoroughfares, which is four blocks away from the nearest ER.

sirens are a sound of springtime.

i thought nothing of it... until i passed the park...

one block from home, the sirens amplified and i count eleven squad cars on my corner.

an eleven year old boy was beat to death with a golf club by a ten year old boy.

i walked the other way.

and i'm not posting my pics of things in bloom.

there are no flowers today.

i set out to find the beauty of spring. but in my heart of hearts, i am a winter girl.

i need time to process.

i am always waiting for winter.

it's the climb

2009-04-30T20:26:00.004-05:00

i am about to blow my lid; i am the happiest girl on the face of the planet.

two days ago, i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world. then i discovered when it rains, it pours. but opposite style. my life is a full-on flood of GOOD! following the flowers, i have been crazy excited to see bish (aka dysfunction) and never thought anything could distract me from that...

until i found the newest addition to my Bestie Club. her name is tess. and she totally *hearts* hannah montana. and i *heart* tess.

we went and saw the hannah montana movie last night. not quite "slumdog millionaire" as far as the as the Academy is concerned, but it totally wins the award for "jay's ultimate heart-tug, super fun and fabulous movie of a lifetime award".

i thought yesterday night was the epitome of happiness...

then i walked into work today, to have tess super stoked to learn the hoedown-throwdown. she rocks it. i need ALOT of practice. fortunately for me, i have bish in town for the weekend. we can have a hoedown-throwdown weekend.

ok, so bottom line: super happy girl. bishbishbish! hoedown-throwdown. dancedancedance. (and bishbishbish!!!)

parting words (and words to live by):

there's always gonna be another mountain.
i'm always gonna wanna make it move.
it's always gonna be an uphill battle.
sometimes i'm gonna have to lose.

it ain't about how fast i get there.
it ain't about what's waiting on the other side.

it's the Climb.

i'm totally embarrassed that it took ten years of bish and a little hannah montana to make me happy... but, i feel like i am the summit and looking down at how far i've come. the view is beautiful from the top.

third time's a charm

2009-04-28T12:57:00.009-05:00

so with just two words, dysfunction has agreed to be a regular part of my life. for the third time.

this comes at the end of a r e a l l y long week wracked with worry and fear, self-doubt and accusations and exhaustive, emotional emails.

that was the easy part.

today's latest obsession: self

2009-04-23T12:59:00.003-05:00

one of my closests friends just called me out on one of my (many and varied) flaws. it is among those that i am aware of and working on.

immediately following, i received this email from the caller-outter:

wow. that was really fucking rude and totally unfair. i get the asshole of the day award, for sure. can we just pretend that never happened?

here's my dilemma: i want to pretend that it never happened and go on about my day. problem is he said it. it's out there. i know, not only, am i flawed in a fundamental way. but also, i know now that he is aware of this hideous flaw.

i will obsess over this until someone threatens me with bodily harm to stop obsessing over this. that is also a flaw of mine, but not one i'm working on. today.

thinking about miniature horses, chicken and roof shingles

2009-01-22T17:06:00.004-06:00

I don't know where to start...

I am upset and sad and selfish.

A very dear friend of mine has been in a very difficult predictament for quite a while and he finally made a decision to save himself the grief. He has decided to quit graduate school and move back to his family farm in Maine. Tonight we are all going out to celebrate his new freedom. But I don't feel like celebrating.

I feel like crying.

Cam made this decision suddenly and it came as a shock to us all. And I don't understand how I'm supposed to process it, be happy for him and wish him well inside of three days.

I just don't think it's fair to me. (And of course, this is so all about me...)

Cam has been a foundation for many of us and a source of inspiration to me.

The best trip I've ever gone on, I went with him. We were playing road games in the car, heading to Mammoth Cave in Kentucky. We weren't really paying attention. Obviously... We ended up in St. Louis. Five hours the wrong direction. The three of us who had made this error of a journey together finally arrived at Mammoth Cave at 3 am. It was a great weekend. We explored caves, we rock climbed, we dry-bobsledded down mountains, we had chicken fights (Cam and I won), we had campfires and hotdogs and corn and beer and laughter. On the ride home, we all agreed that the best part of the whole experience was the ride down. How do three people extend their car ride essentially by ten hours and still have a good time? Because we were together.

Beginning this post, I was upset. But after telling that story, I've come to realize that Maine isn't that far. And after all we've been through and all we've meant to each other, we always will find a way to be together.

It doesn't mean that I won't miss you every single day, Cam.

You are a great friend.

You always will be.

I still can't say "fireplace" without cracking up.

Happy Land

2009-01-13T16:49:00.008-06:00

So while the rest of the world is all doom and gloom, and layoffs and firings, and banks going under, etc, I am in “Happy Land”.

I am in week two of my new badass position. I landed this badass position at exactly the right time. Last week my former employer laid off 1.2 million dollars worth of salaried employees in one day. I find that number staggering, scary and really, profoundly sad.

That being said, I now work in “HappyLand”. We have had an ABBA dance party, my new Dean is throwing me a “Welcome-to-your-new-badass-position-pizza-party”, we eat French toast and drink chocolate milk, we make embarrassing You-Tube videos of us playing rock band, and –get this- we have Gummi Flintstones vitamins for the office and they are delicious. My boss is adorable and my coworker is a rockstar. The only downside of this new, badass position is that my huuuuuge window is street-level, so I have to be very careful about when I pick my nose.

Waking up on the couch at 3 am in wearing Grandma’s pants

2009-01-06T16:21:00.003-06:00

Waking up on the couch at 3 am wearing Grandma’s pants… you’d think that would be the start to a beautiful trip, no? Not exactly. Although it was totally a highlight.

New Year’s Eve, I wake at 3:30 in the morning (in Grandma’s pants) to load up the her car and her cats and drive 1250 miles to where she winters in Florida. It’s a two day trip and I hate cats, but I’ve done it for the last fourteen years anyway. Every winter I drive down to Tampa, where I pick Grandma up from the airport, hang out in the sun and have afternoon cocktails with Grandma and the neighbors for a few days, then I fly home. In the springtime, I do that same trip, but in reverse.

That’s 35,000 miles of road over the years.

Wow, really?

Yeah, really.

And while I don’t like the cats, I do like the drive. I like the loneliness of it. I like the road and the scenery and the really good music (Thanks, Sunny!). Truth is, I just like to drive and be by myself. And I’ve been doing it since I was sixteen, never had a problem. Not so much as a ticket or a flat tire.

Which is why I was really surprised that I landed in a ditch at 68 miles per hour. Yep. ~$3,000 worth of damage to Grandma’s car.

I was able to get out of the ditch after a few hours. I was the only one of the five cars that ended up in the ditch that wasn’t totaled. So there’s that. I hobbled down the road (another 900) miles to my warm and sunny destination, dragging the back bumper behind me. I have pictures. I’m just not ready to look at them, let alone share them with the world.

But anyways, I’m fine. The cats are fine. The car will be fine. Someday.

The moral of this story is never begin a trip wearing Grandma’s pants.

Beautiful, sunny Tampa Bay.

Of course it rained the whole time I was there...

been a while

2009-01-06T15:34:00.004-06:00

It has been so long since the last post because I was in an alcohol induced coma from participating in the Twelve Bars of Christmas, one of my favorite annual drinking events in Chicago. We (me, Sunny, Vil, Matt & wife) headed out at about 9:30 in the morning. I lost Vil by 10 and was drunk by 10:30. I think I was home safely in bed by 7 pm. That may be a huuuuge exaggeration, because I actually have no clue.

The sticker on my card says I'm the Mistle Ho. I wore it with pride.

Drunk girl in a hat with a beer pyramid.

I *heart* beer. Obviously.

Also, the last picture was taken in the first bar at about 10:30 in the morning.

Nobody's doing any real work today anyway...

2008-11-26T11:45:00.004-06:00

Because I've been completely overwhelmed in both my professional and personal lives, I have neglected the blog. But since today is The-Best-Day-Of-The-Year-Eve, and I'm too excited about tomorrow to do any real work, and I've read every other blog on the planet, and 90% of the University is shut down so there's really nothing to do here but wait for my boss to leave so I can sneak out, I have decided to spend the time blogging.

So here goes...

Professionally: After being wooed and courted by three different people, I have accepted a new position. A new badass position. Although I feel horrible and more than a little heartbroken to break up with my current boss, I am really excited about this new position and can't wait to start come the first of the year.

Personally: So I guess I have to begin with the reason I haven't blogged in a while. I have recently been a total and complete trainwreck following a personal tragedy that I still can't quite wrap my head around. My grief is insignificant in comparison to what my mother and our oldest family friends are going through. I find it amazing and inspiring that they can continue to function as human beings at this point. I hope that someday soon I can find some beauty in the life that was, but, frankly I'm too pissed off right now.

Michele, when you read this, please know I am eternally grateful for you letting me snot on your shirt and for bringing me shots while I was sitting on the dirty bathroom floor when I had my nervous breakdown. You are the best!

Now, on to better stuff. And quickly!

I discovered my new favorite hot dog and french fry hotspot the other day with Sunny and haven't had that much fun or laughed so hard in a long, long time.
We had an 86th birthday party for my Grandma & she got wasted. It was classic.
Michele, Vanessa and I tore up the dance floor at a wedding Saturday night. Vanessa was a perfect date! I'm super glad she came - and drove!
Today is The-Best-Day-Of-The-Year-Eve.
Tomorrow is The-Best-Day-Of-The-Year.

Why is tomorrow The-Best-Day-Of-The-Year? Thanksgiving.

Four hundred and forty-three years ago some pilgrims and some Indians came together to invent a day to celebrate my Mom's cooking. It is her day. No one in the world could convince me to be anywhere than at her kitchen table tomorrow. It is indescribable. It is holy. It is all things happiness and light. It is The-Best-Day-Of-The-Year!! And for anybody not sitting at my mom's kitchen table tomorrow, your life is lacking, incomplete and meaningless. And I truly feel sorry for you.

But I wish you all the happiest holiday anyway.

At the center of the universe the day history was made

2008-11-06T10:12:00.002-06:00

I was not fortunate enough to get tickets to the Obama rally on election night. My friend Chi Chi was. She's detailed the unbelieveable experience on her blog at nonyespace@blogspot.com. Reading it gave me chills and I have to share it with everyone. Her post is below.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Yes. We. Did. Barack Obama is MY President

Is it me or is the sun shining a little bit brighter today? Today is a new day and last night, America turned the page on the deep depression that settled over us when George Bush was appointed president in 2000.

Barack Obama is my president. Michelle Obama is my first lady.

I have to repeat these sentences because it still feels surreal. I'm still pinching myself. I was at the rally in downtown Chicago and I had keep asking my friends, "Did this really happen?" Yes it did happen and in one day, the world has changed.

Getting a ticket to the downtown rally was truly a blessing from God because the Obama campaign emailed it to me at 4:23 PM last night. I was preparing to leave to join my friend and canvassing partner Tara as her guest downtown (bless you Tara!). For some reason, the email junkie in me saw 23 messages and made me check my email one more time before I left. I looked and there it was, "Waitlist update" and there was my ticket to the downtown rally. I couldn't believe it, I felt like I'd just received a golden ticket from Willy Wonka to go to his chocolate factory!

With this great opportunity, two more people were invited, I ran to lab to print them out and then I was off. I hopped on the green line and rode into downtown Chicago. After stepping off the train, everything was cool until I walked onto Michigan Ave. The place was bananas and I wanted every Obama shirt that I saw. After meeting up with friends, 4 security checkpoints, airport style metal detector checks and a lot of movement we were in and it was liberating!

It was funny because we were in the center of it all but we only had CNN to rely on. Without my eyes glued to a TV, I felt so unaware of what the news media was saying. My parents gave me updates and we stood next to a guy with a radio but we still were clueless at times because I guess we were in the middle of history. Everytime they called a race we cheered but in my heart I didn't believe it because I was looking for the percentage of precincts reporting as well as the exit polls.

It's funny because although I bought three buttons that declared victory for Obama, I had to see it for myself. First I saw 199 EV's and then 207. I knew that California would give 55 EV's so at 262 EV's we only needed 8 votes to put us over the top. So when Virgina was called I knew it was all over. Virginia was like a symbol for change because not long after that California was called for Obama and then the words that I dreamed to see on the CNN jumbotron, "Projected: Barack Obama, President of the United States!"

The crowd went wild and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I hugged my friends, my canvassing buddies and was vaclempt. I couldn't believe it. And then John McCain conceded. This was really happening! Oh my God, it's really happening. Barack Obama is the president! I called everyone that I could until my phone died. I dedicated my minutes to phonebanking that day but I didn't predict that I would use it until the battery died.

And then it began. The page turned and we bowed our heads for prayer. We prayed together in that crowd and then we said the Pledge of Allegience. I've never recited those words with so much pride for my country before. Yes, I finally feel like this is my country too. And then we sang the Star Spangled Banner and I sang every word with true sincerity in my heart. Next "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" by Stevie Wonder and "Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher" by Jackie Wilson was played. We also heard "Only in America". But when they played "Sweet Home Chicago", I never felt more at home than I did that night. I love my city and last night we were the center of the universe.

Then there was silence and they announced the First family of the United States! I lost my mind and screamed again. I felt so much pride as the Obama family marched across the stage. In that moment, the Obama family was lifted up as a beacon of love and positive family values for all Americans and especially African-Americans to see. We have a new Huxtable example and they are real people. I felt like Black folks finally had a symbol, an example and a leader to follow. I saw Barack and Michelle embrace and I saw her say, "I love you too". Black love is beautiful y'all and it was there for all to see.

And then he made his victory speech and we closed the chapter on the Bush years forever. He set a new tone through his leadership and in one speech healed the nation.

This morning I woke up to NPR and they said it again, President Obama (smile). I went outside to pay the meter and saw that I got a $50 ticket 8 minutes prior. But it didn't matter, Barack Obama is the President of the United States. The flowers outside my apartment were shining brighter and the world is now on the right track.

We have a reason to believe again because with President Obama (I smile every time I type those two words) I see a brighter future ahead.

Today I feel like a normal person again. Like a "Born-again American". I feel like the civil rights that we lost with the Bush administration have been restored. I feel like common sense will rule again and that we now live in a world where anything is possible. Congratulations America! Welcome to a new day and a new world!

Joy and happiness and light

2008-11-05T06:02:00.000-06:00

The world is a better place.

Best weekend ever

2008-11-03T09:28:00.000-06:00

It was the best weekend ever. Ok, well atleast the best weekend in a long time. First, this weekend I worked zero hours. That never happens!! Also, it was Halloween which is one of my favorite days of the year. I made an adorable Dorothy and Vanessa and I had a great time at the party we attended. Although we did spend about 45 minutes driving in circles because Vanessa thought she was smarter than MapQuest. Smarter than me? Definitely. Smarter than most people? Sure. Smarter than MapQuest? Not quite...

Saturday, I woke up suprisingly not hungover. I met my mom for lunch. She had a delicious looking cheeseburger. I had an ice tea. (Taco Bell challenge, remember?) Then we headed to the Oriental Theater to see Wicked. I bought her two tickets for her birthday and was lucky that she chose me to be her date. She loved it and I loved it even more than the first time. I guess the company was better this time!!

I followed my afternoon of being all-civilized-like at the theater with some tacos. Although I am still loving the Taco Bell challenge, I am so incredibly thirsty. I don't even want to look up how much salt is in my delicious Taco Bell. After the tacos, some of my Indiana crew came out to my house to play dice. It was great to hang out with my peeps. These are my old-school, I-would-do-anything-for-them friends. These are the friends that you can wear sweats and your glasses in front of. And I did. And, I also won thirty-seven bucks! Go, me!

Sunday was Doug day. Every day should be Doug day. Doug is my favorite ex-roomie of all time. He also tends to bring beer wherever he goes. Doug doesn't disappoint.

One highlight of my Dougday-Sunday was Indy's win over the Pats. I am addicted to football and this year has been decidely negative so far. But beating the Pats? That's all I need in this world. Well, that, Doug and the beer.

We continued with the beer after football and watched a few episodes of Entourage, which is my new favorite incredibly offensive show. After yelling at the TV for the previous two hours, it was nice to just shut up and laugh.

Shut up and laugh. I think those are words to live by.

Pre-Halloween Party

2008-11-02T10:21:00.000-06:00

Vanessa and I pre-gamed Halloween at my house. Then it was off to an awesome party. We had a blast. Although we got some really strange looks as we're wandering around Walgreens as a Cowgirl and her Dorothy sidekick!

Ethical dilemma

2008-10-31T13:24:00.003-05:00

I am attending a Halloween party tonight, about which I am super excited. What my costume lacks in originality, it makes up for in absolute, to-die-for cuteness. But there's a problem.

Of course there is.

My beautiful hostess will be serving Jello-Shots, which is something that is totally on my favorite things of all times list, right behind hula hoops and mud.

So this is a problem, why?

TACO BELL CHALLENGE. I am in day 3 of the Taco Bell challenge. (And loving it.) I'm not sure, if doing Jello-Shots (and considering them liquor) means I will be cheating in the Taco Bell challenge. I think I am going to be in moral distress for the rest of the day.

I really should have thought this out better. Who goes on a Taco bell challenge the week of Halloween? Think of all the candy I'll be not eating.

How 'bout this? I forgo the candy (because I have to) and drink the Jello-Shots?

the Challenge

2008-10-29T15:00:00.001-05:00

So, I'm doing it. I'm taking the Challenge. What Challenge?

The Taco Bell Challenge!!

3 meals a day, for seven days nothing but the Bell. I'm going to think-outside-the bun. I'm going to devour days and days worth of crunchy-melty goodness. Tacos, bean burritos, crunch wrap supremes, chalupas, cheese roll ups and then more tacos. Yes, friends, I'm really going to do it.

Why am I doing this?

Because I can.

Undecided

2008-10-26T13:18:00.001-05:00

So right now, I am a woman with too many job offers - at a point in my life where I wasn't even looking for new employment. I thought I had made a decision to take Job A. But then I went on a fourth (yes, fourth!) interview for Job B. At the conclusion of interview number four, the gentleman shakes my hand and tells me, "I love you. You have to take this job. I absolutely love you!" Kind of puts me back on the fence...

In other undecidedness, Halloween is fast approaching and here's me with nothing to wear. I was going to be the 1984 Prom Queen, but my mom tossed the dress when she was cleaning out the basement. So now I am at a loss...

Chi Chi and I went to Barack Obama's house

2008-10-24T13:15:00.000-05:00

Ok, so really we just drove by it. Twice. Really slowly. Lots of police. We couldn't get too close. But I still get to tell everyone I went to Barack Obama's house. Twice.

All my jobs...

2008-10-22T13:12:00.000-05:00

Weird. Inside two business days, I received two phone calls offering me two different jobs, neither of which has been publically advertised yet. Weird, right? But also, very cool.

Now I must deliberate...

I'm ashamed to admit

2008-10-20T16:20:00.001-05:00

I watched Hannah Montana. After swearing her off. But I was drunk. And in the woods. And in the middle of a rousing game of reverse-strip-rummy. So it doesn't really count.

Right?

I heart Tomah

2008-10-19T16:00:00.002-05:00

This post can also be titled "Northern Wisconsin hates Taco Bell"....

So, heading home from the Northwoods, all we wanted was a little Taco Bell. You know, just a taco or two and a crunch wrap supreme. That's all. And we're driving along on the interstate thinking a Taco Bell is just around the corner.

There'll will be one at the next exit...

Rice Lake: no Taco Bell.

Chetek: no Taco Bell.

Bloomer: no Taco Bell.

Chippewa Falls: no Taco Bell.

Eau Claire: no Taco Bell.

Black River Falls: no Taco Bell.

Tomah: TACO BELL!!!!

Of course, the long wait precipitated the buying of 10 tacos, 10 bean burritos, a crunch wrap supreme and a small coke. I LOVE TOMAH TACO BELL!!!! But after that order, I'm not sure how they feel about me...

Barnes, Wisconsin, Population: 392

2008-10-18T15:22:00.001-05:00

I ran away from work. To Barnes, which is a tiny little town waayyyy up in Northern Wisconsin where I spent my summers as a kid.

This was my first trip up during anything other than the summer months. I feel extremely fortunate to have been able to take this trip for many reasons:

1. It kept me from committing homicide on the colleague-type-person mentioned in the previous post.

2. It was awesome to be in the woods with all the fall colors changing.

3. I got to bring the best "off in the woods" buddy ever.

4. I got to babysit three cool dogs.

5. Paddleboatin' with beer is good for the soul.

6. Bear huntin' with beer as bait is even better for the soul.

7. Reverse strip rummy is my new favorite game, especially when it comes to wearing a plush moose head belted to your booty (ie: Moose-Caboose)

8. Cheesehats make the world a much better place.

The Hater & the D-Bag

2008-10-10T15:10:00.001-05:00

I don't like the word hate. I don't like what it means. But once in a while everyone is a little bit of a hater. Right now, that's me.

I'm in a weird position in which the scientists I work for also work for me. And one of these scientists is the ULTIMATE D-BAG. And I hate him. Not kinda sorta. But like totally, man. I H-A-T-E him. He makes my job miserable, which sucks, because I love my job. And that makes me hate him even more.

Last week, he was 3 hours & 48 minutes late in getting me what I needed to do my job in order to make him money. Let me tell you, my level of haterism hit an all time high.

This week, he comes in with a $180 spa gift certificate for me to make up for last week. So on the surface I have to be all nice and grateful to him. On the inside, I'm boiling thinking this makes him an even bigger d-bag. Who spends $180 on a massage? Do you realize that amount of money would feed me for six weeks? What's wrong with a thank you card? How does (a ridiculous) amount of money count as an apology?

I hate that I'm a haterrr.

the truth

2008-10-05T15:10:00.002-05:00

Another note about Saturday... I did NOT watch Hannah Montana. It was mildy painful, but bearable. However, this is only week one in kicking the addiction. I'm not sure if it gets better or worse as time wears on. I do know that I miss her already. Sweet nibblets!

Call me alaps.

2008-10-05T08:37:00.003-05:00

So I almost pulled off this Saturday as an adult. ALMOST. I left the house at 6:30 am. I ran to a place called Manny's on Jefferson to pick up "the best corned beef in the world" for my uncle, who is a gruff, blue collar, dirty old man. He alsways calls me sweetheart, affectionately, although he certainly doesn't look like a "sweetheart" slinging kind of guy.

Next task: 8 am needle in the arm, five vials of blood and a successful pee-in-the-cup. Look, Mom! I'm a big kid now.

Next up: 9 am breakfast with Mom. I do this every week, not just because she's recently divorced and my brother is kind of a douche & never visits her. I do it because I like to - and I like her. I wish I could see her more than once a week.

Then we (Mom and I) headed out to the snooty 'burbs to visit the douchey little brother and his girlfriend. On the ride there, I cast on and re-started my scarf. Made great progress and had an enjoyable afternoon with the fam.

I followed this by meeting up with some friends for a few drinks. Discussed politics, history and baseball, and was even able to not get all defensive-in-your-face when it came to a football debate. That shows remarkable restraint. I left at a decent hour. This again shows remarkable restraint.

Once I returned home, I felt that since I had behaved in a bar so well, that I deserved a celebratory drink (or three). And that's when my adultness fell off the map.

I thought I had long since given up on the drunk dial, but in this technologically advancing world we live in, I fell prey to the temptation of drunk texting. I started out texting Sunny about the butt-crack incident that will forever haunt me. Then I moved on to texting Cowboy. It wasn't pretty. It went something like this:

"i like u & u suck. dont pretend u didnt get my VM. u should have called me alaps."

Yeah. Call me alaps. What does that even mean?? Call me Al? Call me in the Alps? Ay yi yi.

Then I come to find out later, that I accidentally drunk dialed Sunny. I'm sure it was a wrong-button-pushing-accident, because I apparently didn't know it was her and really had no reason for calling. Luckily, she found it amusing rather than annoying.

So apparently, I can only be an adult until ten pm. Also, it is apparent that post ten pm, I need to hide the cell phone.

To stop my eyes from burning....

2008-10-03T23:05:00.001-05:00

At the gym today (oh the horror) I saw something that I hope no one ever encounters in their life. I'm lifting my little ten pound weights when lo and behold, right there in front of me - the ass crack of a professor I know. The image is burned in my brain and will undoubtedly be the cause of my future full blown alcoholism and cirrhotic liver.

On another note, here's a cute picture.

NO BAILS!!

2008-10-03T15:19:00.003-05:00

Four weeks ago, my friend Tee, got a gym membership where Sunny and I work out. Everyday he promises to go with. Everyday he finds some excuse not to. Whether his experiment runs long, or he forgets his brace or his shoes, it's always something. He bails.

Sunny and I have taken to approaching him midday and chanting "No Bails" at him. "No Bails" has become a catchphrase! (Can it actually be a catchphrase if only two people are using it?? Anyway...) I'm pretty sure Tee is going to bail on the gym again today. And that makes me wish I could bail on my weekend. But as one of the co-creators of the "No Bails" slogan that is sweeping the nation (or at least the third floor of our building) I feel like I am held to that policy myself. Although, in case you didn't catch it earlier, I really want to bail on my weekend.

Here's the deal: I live in Chicago. I live in Chicago for all the restaurants and activities and fun things to do on the weekends and the great public transportation. However, this weekend, I will be driving an hour to one suburb for lab tests. Then I'm driving an hour to another suburb to have lunch with my brother and his girlfriend. Then I'm driving another hour to another suburb to meet up with some friends. Then the hour ride home. That's Saturday. Sunday, I have to go drive an hour to meet Cowboy for dinner. That's a lot of driving. To lots of places that aren't Chicago. And while these were all things I was looking forward to (well, minus the labs), it just seems like a bit much for one weekend.

I just want to lounge around, drink beer and watch football. I want to bail. Whoever created this "No Bails" policy is bullshit.

new shirt

2008-10-03T13:03:00.002-05:00

I got the girly version of this shirt earlier this week and am wearing it today. I like to sneak in the occasional casual Friday every few months. The image is made out of text from his speeches. I ordered the shirt from http://www.alisonrose.com/.

I'm sold on wearing the shirt throughout the entire weekend, however, I have to mention that I need to wear a sports-bra under this tee. With a regular bra, Barack Obama had chipmunk cheeks. I didn't think that was very Presidential...

Sarah Palin Bingo

2008-10-02T17:48:00.000-05:00

After three grants (~900k), two foreign new hires, processing (most) of payroll today, I have had too much of adulthood. I am going home to drink, watch the debate and play Sarah Palin Bingo. http://palinbingo.com/

Baby Steps

2008-09-30T09:33:00.000-05:00

Call me weird, but I was really looking forward to turning 30. I counted down the days a year and a half ahead of time. I thought that when 30 hit, it would be like *poof* you're an adult. Turns out, it doesn't work that way.

So, I've decided to institute a plan to induct myself into adulthood. These are all baby steps and this is only the beginning. See the plan below.

Clean my car. I do this annually every November, but I forgot last year.
Balance my checkbook. This is a very adult thing to do that hasn't been done since 2003.
Stop drinking liquor directly from the bottle (unless it is in a paper bag).
Grocery shop regularly (and not out of my Mom's fridge).
Limit ice cream for dinner to once a week, unless there is a special occasion.
Remember to call my friends more regularly, especially the pregnant crazy one.
Stop watching "Hannah Montana". This one will be difficult, but necessary.
Use prescription medicine when it's prescribed, not for fun.
Watch the news (instead of "Hannah Montana").
Buy a fish and care for said fish. It will teach me responsibility and foster my maternal instinct. Yeah right.
Stop considering the clothes on the top of the dirty laundry pile as "kinda clean".
Open a savings account (to save up for the fish's college tuition).
Don't burp in public.
Make more lists.

This is only the beginning, people. Let the metamorphosis begin.

In a very adult fashion...

2008-09-29T08:25:00.000-05:00

Yesterday evening, I played the part of an adult. (giggle)

My work BBF, Sunny, had recently injured her foot. So instead of having fun on the treadmill or elipitical at the gym, we were forced to try something low impact, something boring... the stationary bike.

But Sunny & I just can't be bored pedaling along on a stationary bike, right? No. That would be no fun. So she whipped out the sweater she's making and I, my scarf, then we proceeded to pedal and knit. Knitting at the gym didn't cause quite the stir I had hoped for. Nobody even cared. Maybe knitting's not as cool as I thought. Hmm.

We followed this most arduous of workouts with a trip to Pilsen for fajitas and margaritas. Then I skipped off home to make the call to Cowboy. After three failed attempts to dial the phone and a shot of tequila for courage, I made the call. Voicemail. Instead of freaking out and hanging up, this is what I did:

"Hi, it's me. I like you and want to go out on a date with you on Sunday. I've got a great plan and think it will be fun. Let me know. OKbye."

So, to recap... Workout: check. Knit: check. Non-cereal dinner: check. Ask a boy out: check.

All in all, a very adult day for me. I get a gold star.

What do you do?

2008-09-28T13:19:00.000-05:00

When you meet someone new, one of the first questions you are asked is "What do you do"? I often have difficulty answering that, because my title doesn't reflect my actual job/workload. In actuality, I work in academic research maintaining the chaos and putting out fires. I am the go-to girl 60-70 hours a week (including Sundays and work from home). Do I like it? Usually. I thrive on stress, high energy and a fast pace. Do I love it? Far from it.

Luckily, I am one of those people who doesn't believe you have to love your job. It's just something you do.

Last week, I was talking to one of the Junior Professors in my research center. He was talking about his upcoming vacation and how his wife was demanding that he relax and refrain from answering emails and voicemails while he was away. He explained that tending to these things while he's away helps him to relax. If he didn't tend to these things, that would be all he thinks about. This made me realize that this job isn't something that he does... it is something that he is.

While I know I work too much and stress too much about my job, I have come to realize that I'm really lucky that it's just my job - and not who I am.

future

2008-09-27T13:01:00.001-05:00

I'm cowboying up!

2008-09-26T15:38:00.000-05:00

So, I'm going to act like an adult and call up Cowboy and ask him out on a date. Now, if I'm doing the asking, I should do the planning, right?

Here's what I've come up with... Since we live almost two hours apart (he moved last week - I have great timing, right?) I found a place in the middle. And after several weeks of us futzing about before finally making a date, this date has to be of mindblowing proportions, right? What's a girl to do but come up with the ultimate farm date!?! Ok, so there's pumpkin picking, a haunted barn, a petting zoo, $3 hot dogs and best of all... a CORN MAZE! Now, who doesn't love a good corn maze? There's no way he'll turn down this dream date, right?

Who can say no to a goat and a corn maze?

Because it's the cutest freakin thing ever

2008-09-25T15:00:00.000-05:00

I have a love affair of sorts with Chipmunks. My list of living things I love goes like this:

dogs
goats
chipmunks
people
trees

But this little guy is number one in my book!

Feeling Fall

2008-09-24T14:30:00.000-05:00

Although fall started just over a week ago, today is the first day that feels like fall. I'm just not talking about the temperature or the leaves falling in my hair. I'm talking about this incredible feeling...
It's like nostalgia and excitement wrapped up as one. It makes sense in my head.

So in the spirit of trying to become more grown-up-like, I am going to make a commitment. This is something I do a lot, like most people. But unlike most people, I usually bail. So that's my first step into grown-up-hood. No Bails!! So, like I said I'm going to make a commitment - to do something childish.
I just looked up the hours and directions to the County Line Orchard. And this Saturday, I am going pumpkin picking.

Also, in a further attempt at grown-up-ness, I am going to stop playing games and just ask a boy out. See, there is this boy who is sweet on me. And well, he's short and at least one level of cuteness below me. Usually (ok, every time before) these things were deal breakers. But because he arrived in my life at a time when I was just excusing myself from my undeniably childish previous relationship, I played around with him because, well, it was an ego boost. (Honesty- another move toward the adulthood direction!!) But in my playing around with him, I found myself a little sweet on him too. And really, does height and cuteness matter all that much? Don't adults look for compatibility & personality and all that other grown-up stuff ?

Grown up stuff makes me giggle.

Done with Dysfunction

2008-09-23T10:11:00.001-05:00

I spent the last long while in a difficult relationship with someone selfish and passive agressive. He was cute and gave me something to do, and I was hopeful that I could help him grow up a bit. He was four years younger than me, but often acted fours years old. After all the chaos, finger pointing and placing of the blame we are settled: over and one state a part.

This is when I came to realize the root of the problem was not Adam and all his inadequacies. It was me staying with him, knowing it wasn't what I wanted or needed. It was me being dysfunctional, with a dysfunctional boytoy in a very dysfunctional relationship.

Why?

Because it allowed me to keep on being a kid. With Adam, it was OK to drink on Tuesday nights (Weds, Thurs too) for no reason other than to get drunk. With Adam, cereal was dinner; fast food was fancy dinner. With Adam laundry belonged on the floor and mail was meant to remain unopened. With Adam, dysfunction ruled and I didn't have to be a grown-up.

I have decided that the days of dysfunction are over. I am an adult. And as scary as that may be I have decided to embrace it. Tomorrow. Tonight I dine on Lucky Charms. Baby steps, people.