it's the climb

i am about to blow my lid; i am the happiest girl on the face of the planet.

two days ago, i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world. then i discovered when it rains, it pours. but opposite style. my life is a full-on flood of GOOD! following the flowers, i have been crazy excited to see bish (aka dysfunction) and never thought anything could distract me from that...

until i found the newest addition to my Bestie Club. her name is tess. and she totally *hearts* hannah montana. and i *heart* tess.

we went and saw the hannah montana movie last night. not quite "slumdog millionaire" as far as the as the Academy is concerned, but it totally wins the award for "jay's ultimate heart-tug, super fun and fabulous movie of a lifetime award".

i thought yesterday night was the epitome of happiness...

then i walked into work today, to have tess super stoked to learn the hoedown-throwdown. she rocks it. i need ALOT of practice. fortunately for me, i have bish in town for the weekend. we can have a hoedown-throwdown weekend.

ok, so bottom line: super happy girl. bishbishbish! hoedown-throwdown. dancedancedance. (and bishbishbish!!!)

parting words (and words to live by):

there's always gonna be another mountain.
i'm always gonna wanna make it move.
it's always gonna be an uphill battle.
sometimes i'm gonna have to lose.

it ain't about how fast i get there.
it ain't about what's waiting on the other side.

it's the Climb.

i'm totally embarrassed that it took ten years of bish and a little hannah montana to make me happy... but, i feel like i am the summit and looking down at how far i've come. the view is beautiful from the top.

third time's a charm

so with just two words, dysfunction has agreed to be a regular part of my life. for the third time.

.

this comes at the end of a r e a l l y long week wracked with worry and fear, self-doubt and accusations and exhaustive, emotional emails.

.

that was the easy part.

today's latest obsession: self

one of my closests friends just called me out on one of my (many and varied) flaws. it is among those that i am aware of and working on.

immediately following, i received this email from the caller-outter:

wow. that was really fucking rude and totally unfair. i get the asshole of the day award, for sure. can we just pretend that never happened?

here's my dilemma: i want to pretend that it never happened and go on about my day. problem is he said it. it's out there. i know, not only, am i flawed in a fundamental way. but also, i know now that he is aware of this hideous flaw.

i will obsess over this until someone threatens me with bodily harm to stop obsessing over this. that is also a flaw of mine, but not one i'm working on. today.