Baby Steps

Call me weird, but I was really looking forward to turning 30. I counted down the days a year and a half ahead of time. I thought that when 30 hit, it would be like *poof* you're an adult. Turns out, it doesn't work that way.

So, I've decided to institute a plan to induct myself into adulthood. These are all baby steps and this is only the beginning. See the plan below.

• Clean my car. I do this annually every November, but I forgot last year.
• Balance my checkbook. This is a very adult thing to do that hasn't been done since 2003.
• Stop drinking liquor directly from the bottle (unless it is in a paper bag).
• Grocery shop regularly (and not out of my Mom's fridge).
• Limit ice cream for dinner to once a week, unless there is a special occasion.
• Remember to call my friends more regularly, especially the pregnant crazy one.
• Stop watching "Hannah Montana". This one will be difficult, but necessary.
• Use prescription medicine when it's prescribed, not for fun.
• Watch the news (instead of "Hannah Montana").
• Buy a fish and care for said fish. It will teach me responsibility and foster my maternal instinct. Yeah right.
• Stop considering the clothes on the top of the dirty laundry pile as "kinda clean".
• Open a savings account (to save up for the fish's college tuition).
• Don't burp in public.
• Make more lists.

This is only the beginning, people. Let the metamorphosis begin.

In a very adult fashion...

Yesterday evening, I played the part of an adult. (giggle)

My work BBF, Sunny, had recently injured her foot. So instead of having fun on the treadmill or elipitical at the gym, we were forced to try something low impact, something boring... the stationary bike.

But Sunny & I just can't be bored pedaling along on a stationary bike, right? No. That would be no fun. So she whipped out the sweater she's making and I, my scarf, then we proceeded to pedal and knit. Knitting at the gym didn't cause quite the stir I had hoped for. Nobody even cared. Maybe knitting's not as cool as I thought. Hmm.

We followed this most arduous of workouts with a trip to Pilsen for fajitas and margaritas. Then I skipped off home to make the call to Cowboy. After three failed attempts to dial the phone and a shot of tequila for courage, I made the call. Voicemail. Instead of freaking out and hanging up, this is what I did:

"Hi, it's me. I like you and want to go out on a date with you on Sunday. I've got a great plan and think it will be fun. Let me know. OKbye."

So, to recap... Workout: check. Knit: check. Non-cereal dinner: check. Ask a boy out: check.

All in all, a very adult day for me. I get a gold star.

What do you do?

When you meet someone new, one of the first questions you are asked is "What do you do"? I often have difficulty answering that, because my title doesn't reflect my actual job/workload. In actuality, I work in academic research maintaining the chaos and putting out fires. I am the go-to girl 60-70 hours a week (including Sundays and work from home). Do I like it? Usually. I thrive on stress, high energy and a fast pace. Do I love it? Far from it.

Luckily, I am one of those people who doesn't believe you have to love your job. It's just something you do.

Last week, I was talking to one of the Junior Professors in my research center. He was talking about his upcoming vacation and how his wife was demanding that he relax and refrain from answering emails and voicemails while he was away. He explained that tending to these things while he's away helps him to relax. If he didn't tend to these things, that would be all he thinks about. This made me realize that this job isn't something that he does... it is something that he is.

While I know I work too much and stress too much about my job, I have come to realize that I'm really lucky that it's just my job - and not who I am.

*future*

I'm cowboying up!

So, I'm going to act like an adult and call up Cowboy and ask him out on a date. Now, if I'm doing the asking, I should do the planning, right?

Here's what I've come up with... Since we live almost two hours apart (he moved last week - I have great timing, right?) I found a place in the middle. And after several weeks of us futzing about before finally making a date, this date has to be of mindblowing proportions, right? What's a girl to do but come up with the ultimate farm date!?! Ok, so there's pumpkin picking, a haunted barn, a petting zoo, $3 hot dogs and best of all... a CORN MAZE! Now, who doesn't love a good corn maze? There's no way he'll turn down this dream date, right?

Who can say no to a goat and a corn maze?

Because it's the cutest freakin thing ever

I have a love affair of sorts with Chipmunks. My list of living things I love goes like this:

1. dogs
2. goats
3. chipmunks
4. people
5. trees

But this little guy is number one in my book!

Feeling Fall

Although fall started just over a week ago, today is the first day that feels like fall. I'm just not talking about the temperature or the leaves falling in my hair. I'm talking about this incredible feeling...
It's like nostalgia and excitement wrapped up as one. It makes sense in my head.

So in the spirit of trying to become more grown-up-like, I am going to make a commitment. This is something I do a lot, like most people. But unlike most people, I usually bail. So that's my first step into grown-up-hood. No Bails!! So, like I said I'm going to make a commitment - to do something childish.
I just looked up the hours and directions to the County Line Orchard. And this Saturday, I am going pumpkin picking.

Also, in a further attempt at grown-up-ness, I am going to stop playing games and just ask a boy out. See, there is this boy who is sweet on me. And well, he's short and at least one level of cuteness below me. Usually (ok, every time before) these things were deal breakers. But because he arrived in my life at a time when I was just excusing myself from my undeniably childish previous relationship, I played around with him because, well, it was an ego boost. (Honesty- another move toward the adulthood direction!!) But in my playing around with him, I found myself a little sweet on him too. And really, does height and cuteness matter all that much? Don't adults look for compatibility & personality and all that other grown-up stuff ?

Grown up stuff makes me giggle.

Done with Dysfunction

I spent the last long while in a difficult relationship with someone selfish and passive agressive. He was cute and gave me something to do, and I was hopeful that I could help him grow up a bit. He was four years younger than me, but often acted fours years old. After all the chaos, finger pointing and placing of the blame we are settled: over and one state a part.

This is when I came to realize the root of the problem was not Adam and all his inadequacies. It was me staying with him, knowing it wasn't what I wanted or needed. It was me being dysfunctional, with a dysfunctional boytoy in a very dysfunctional relationship.

Why?

Because it allowed me to keep on being a kid. With Adam, it was OK to drink on Tuesday nights (Weds, Thurs too) for no reason other than to get drunk. With Adam, cereal was dinner; fast food was fancy dinner. With Adam laundry belonged on the floor and mail was meant to remain unopened. With Adam, dysfunction ruled and I didn't have to be a grown-up.

I have decided that the days of dysfunction are over. I am an adult. And as scary as that may be I have decided to embrace it. Tomorrow. Tonight I dine on Lucky Charms. Baby steps, people.