Done with Dysfunction

I spent the last long while in a difficult relationship with someone selfish and passive agressive. He was cute and gave me something to do, and I was hopeful that I could help him grow up a bit. He was four years younger than me, but often acted fours years old. After all the chaos, finger pointing and placing of the blame we are settled: over and one state a part.

This is when I came to realize the root of the problem was not Adam and all his inadequacies. It was me staying with him, knowing it wasn't what I wanted or needed. It was me being dysfunctional, with a dysfunctional boytoy in a very dysfunctional relationship.

Why?

Because it allowed me to keep on being a kid. With Adam, it was OK to drink on Tuesday nights (Weds, Thurs too) for no reason other than to get drunk. With Adam, cereal was dinner; fast food was fancy dinner. With Adam laundry belonged on the floor and mail was meant to remain unopened. With Adam, dysfunction ruled and I didn't have to be a grown-up.

I have decided that the days of dysfunction are over. I am an adult. And as scary as that may be I have decided to embrace it. Tomorrow. Tonight I dine on Lucky Charms. Baby steps, people.