Call me alaps.

So I almost pulled off this Saturday as an adult. ALMOST. I left the house at 6:30 am. I ran to a place called Manny's on Jefferson to pick up "the best corned beef in the world" for my uncle, who is a gruff, blue collar, dirty old man. He alsways calls me sweetheart, affectionately, although he certainly doesn't look like a "sweetheart" slinging kind of guy.

Next task: 8 am needle in the arm, five vials of blood and a successful pee-in-the-cup. Look, Mom! I'm a big kid now.

Next up: 9 am breakfast with Mom. I do this every week, not just because she's recently divorced and my brother is kind of a douche & never visits her. I do it because I like to - and I like her. I wish I could see her more than once a week.

Then we (Mom and I) headed out to the snooty 'burbs to visit the douchey little brother and his girlfriend. On the ride there, I cast on and re-started my scarf. Made great progress and had an enjoyable afternoon with the fam.

I followed this by meeting up with some friends for a few drinks. Discussed politics, history and baseball, and was even able to not get all defensive-in-your-face when it came to a football debate. That shows remarkable restraint. I left at a decent hour. This again shows remarkable restraint.

Once I returned home, I felt that since I had behaved in a bar so well, that I deserved a celebratory drink (or three). And that's when my adultness fell off the map.

I thought I had long since given up on the drunk dial, but in this technologically advancing world we live in, I fell prey to the temptation of drunk texting. I started out texting Sunny about the butt-crack incident that will forever haunt me. Then I moved on to texting Cowboy. It wasn't pretty. It went something like this:

"i like u & u suck. dont pretend u didnt get my VM. u should have called me alaps."

Yeah. Call me alaps. What does that even mean?? Call me Al? Call me in the Alps? Ay yi yi.

Then I come to find out later, that I accidentally drunk dialed Sunny. I'm sure it was a wrong-button-pushing-accident, because I apparently didn't know it was her and really had no reason for calling. Luckily, she found it amusing rather than annoying.

So apparently, I can only be an adult until ten pm. Also, it is apparent that post ten pm, I need to hide the cell phone.